LIFE AS IT SEEMS.....

I keep wondering what it is about life...
At what point in life is one really content..
At what time and moment can one really sit back and reminisce days gone by..
At what point do we really feel our life took the path we may have wished or aspired to have it taken.

When does life really start for a person..
Is it at the time of the fertilisation  or birth..?
Did life begin for us the moment we exited the uterine walls and entered this world which encapsulates the human existence in throes of constant needs... and wants and desires....

The beginning of human personhood is the moment in the life of a human when they are first recognized as a person.

Ancient writers held diverse views on the beginning of personhood..it being understood as the entry and development of the soul into the human body .Generally, the question of the ensoulment of the Fetus revolved around the question of when the rational soul entered the body....whether it was an integral part of the bodily form and substance, or whether it was pre-existent and subject to reincarnation or pre-existence..leaving in mind that the soul may have existed long before its actual conception..

Sorry I don't intend to get all philosophical here about  birth,life and its meaning... but just voicing a conversation I had with a  dear friend who every day ripens in her pregnant state.. whom I am going to surely miss once back home in  my country which would be in less than a week ... that's 6 days or144 hours or 8640 minutes away.

Life is funny this way just when you have found your ground and created an environment around yourself ..you got to pack up and relocate..hmmmmph.

My dear friend and not to forget to mention her colleague and I steal away hours much to their boss's annoyance I'm sure, chatting about life...!

In my opinion and solely my opinion...
Life begins anew at different stages I say..

First you are infant..then a toddler..you grow into a bratty five to six year old.right into your young years where you experience emotions and mental development which one isn't even equipped to handle much less even understand.Soon enough you hit puberty and you enter an age 'teen years' which is so hyped with the onset of first time crushes..best friends..sleep overs..[my almost-first time-sleepover was a disaster] first time make up trials amongst curfews and then schools entire paraphernalia...you don't realise you've entered adulthood until you in it knee deep and that is one door in life you have to enter and you can't go running back to mommy the way you may have on your first day at kindergarten.One just has to enter it.

One doesn't think ones life is an experience for oneself unless you come in contact with a person and I don't mean your high school buddy..but with someone unrelated to your days gone , they make you stop for a second and reminisce days gone back.

One doesn't realise how much you can learn from one another every passing second..you only do so once you've walked away...and that itself is an experience.Its funny I always thought that you only experienced a void when you lost someone dear to yourself but now I realise, I feel that ones heart is as big as you allow it to be and it can get larger than life itself and impossible to  contain it in its little crevice.

You move like the speed of lightning and before one even realises one has been struck by its sheer brilliance..and that is the joy of meeting such diverse people and their admiration and respect for you.

My dear friend this is just the beginning of my next blog for you..
You convinced me to share my lil anecdotes with you...it was a pleasure relating them...and I hope to do so again soon...

Keep reading.

WHEN AND HOW DO I GROW UP......??

In my opinion this I'm sure is a question every single person may have asked themselves at least once if not more in desperation the world over..when in distress or in sweet melancholy...or even find it very difficult to confess to.

Do I really need to grow up... have I yet to grow up or am I really grown up or am I  just feeling unnerved by the environment I've been pushed into the last 12 months. I use the word 'pushed into'  not because it was against my will.. yes I did willingly concur to travel thousand of kilometres  with my husband and three children all under the age of 5...excitement and a little thirst for the unknown and new city life with all its attractions where I blog from now.. my decision clouded against my better judgement.

Please don't get me wrong..I'm not from a village but just from a not so fast paced a city where you have a choice to either jump on the bandwagon or stay off it..I chose to stay off it.

And here I am today sitting in a café bustling with chatting consumers out for lunch...I  can't help myself using the word "consumers' ..I'm not sure whether its because I'm a bankers wife or whether I've been consumed and pulled into this quagmire I can't seem to bring myself out of.

You wonder what on earth is she talking about...hmmmm I can't seem to find the spot where I can lay my finger on I can't seem to find that lil shade where I can stop to catch my breath for a second take a lil break from the harsh rays of the tropical sun.

I think I'm a good mother..well at least I try to do the best I can ,not trying to be an internet mom..our mothers never had access to it when we were growing up and we turned out pretty fine... did we?

When we first moved here I just couldn't shrug off that uncomfortable teeth grinding feeling where I realised that I was thousands of kilometres away from my mum and my mum in law who I still looked up to for advice or reminders to say my prayers... give sadaqah..and oh so much more..were no longer here with me..because I was alone I was to grow up an take care of my family as we steered ourselves through this new meandering path we had chosen..

All our lives we wait for that moment to grow up and make our own decisions and when  opportunity is available and we find ourselves in an arena with a roaring crowd beckoning you to take a step forward.... you crouch... oh bullocks!!

Is it fair for a small town/city spoilt lil girl like myself... minus my travelling experiences to be pushed into a city where I just can't seem to find my pace...

My entire day is consumed with home schooling my 3 and4 year old.... that too because I don't quite agree with the teaching methodology at the chosen school.. and then the latter half coaching my daughter in homework... then its making sure the kids get their bit of physical activity and dinner and in bed on time.

Yes I think I may have just found the spot to lay my finger...I feel I've been pulled into this paradox of life where things have begun to contradict each other... we live in a time where too much is happening and we can't keep pace with it..we build larger lives while it remains an  empty vessel... we sleep late..wake up tired..spend more yet have less..we find faults but don't have time for correction..

Think the time has come to stop an take a  deep breath..what is really important..life is not measured by the counts of breath we take in everyday but the special moments we take everyday.

It's me..I need to find my place in this city... my spot... my connection...
Back home I knew what where and how I wanted things.... now I just need t to figure out the What and How...

Think its time to grow up!!